High on Ecstasy
Have you ever been high on Ecstasy? No not the drug, the energy.
Well I have been high on both versions and let me tell you that the drug version doesn’t hold a candle to the natural version.
I was never a drug addict but I was addicted to being liked and fitting in. So much so that I would sometimes do drugs because everyone else was doing it and I just wanted to go with the flow.
My experience with doing the drug version of ecstasy (MDMA) happened with a long term lover. In the beginning, drugs were a major part of our experiences together. Even though deep down I knew I didn’t need the drugs to have the crazy and wild sexual experiences we had, I went along with it out of fear. Eventually I had a profound awakening to who I really was and I saw clearly that I was already Ecstatic. The drug was actually suppressing me and when I stopped taking it I saw how High I was naturally. Once I experienced how high I could feel on Creation itself, the drug was not appealing. I saw that without any drugs, I was just as wild (if not more so!). The best part was there was no withdrawal, no ill effects on my brain cells, no depression in the days following, it was just a sustainable happier version of me.
When I stopped fearing whether he would leave me or stop loving me if I didn’t do Ecstasy I was able to be free. There was a lot of skepticism on his part, but I didn’t let that sway me. Side Note: if a man ever pressures you to do drugs, and continues to ask you to indulge in escapism with him, he is NOT the right man. Remove yourself from that relationship immediately.
For him the synthetic version of ecstasy allowed him to be wild and crazy with me. Doing the drugs made him feel safe to express himself sexually. To share his deepest desires and fantasies. Taking it also gave his Ego an out, an excuse for any crazy, out of the box behavior. It especially helped his Ego feel better about some of the Kinky and dirty things he wanted to do in the bedroom. Which to me, all of those things were always ok. I have never judged anything in regards to sexuality. It is one place where I have always been incredibly open and willing to try almost anything. I have a natural curiosity and am always in awe and wonder at what I can discover. I feel free to express my sexuality and love supporting others in feeling this way too.
In his mind, the drug gave him permission and freedom. The ironic thing is that ecstasy when embodied (as the energy, not the drug), gives you total permission. When you allow yourself to open to this energy you feel free. There are limitless possibilities and your sexuality feels safe to share and explore. There are no limiting beliefs or shameful stories blocking you.
I believe that everyone has their pwn path, and trying different drugs on occasion were a part of mine. I am also aware of the many traditions and cultures that use medicine to facilitate and assist in Spiritual journeys and awakenings. All of this is beautiful and whatever your path may be is perfect. I simply wanted to share my experience with ecstasy and plant the seed of possibility, that this freedom and bliss and permission to play is here, now. There is nothing you need to do, nothing you need to take, it’s in your breath, it’s in your heart, it’s the way Source created you. Orgasmic Ecstasy is your birthright.
What would happen if we could teach everyone that the secret to empowered sexuality starts with allowing yourself to embody ecstasy? What would sexuality in our culture look like if everyone was taught that bliss and ecstasy was something they already had inside them? How different our world would be if people sought out inner stimulation before external stimulation. Inner energies instead of drug therapy.